My Almost Teenager Last Night Was Difficult

Another Wonderful Day with my Almost Teenager

Another wonderful day in paradise with my almost Teenager.  He was generally good and did what I asked before school today.  As always I get him out on time so he isn’t late to school.  I think we call it coaching him out the door.  He convinced me that he had to have his cell phone for a class today.  I let him take it even though he doesn’t have As in any of his classes but Gym.

Next errand was to take may dad home after dropping off his car to get detailed.  My mom hit a little curb and made a few scratches on the front bumper.  Which of course means I will have to pick him up later to get the car.  Not a big deal my parents are always there when I need them.  I love to help them when I can because they do so much for me and my son.

So I took the day off from work because I have Rheumatoid Arthritis and some days it is just hard for me to move.  My pain is generally managed well with my Enbrel medication I take weekly but this week I have been in lots of pain.  It’s hard to be a nurse and in pain.  One thing I’ve noticed is that I don’t look or act sick I just say “I’m hurting”. Sometimes that can lead to people not believing that I have a physical disability that makes me hurt.

I went to the doctors office to schedule that wonderful test we all have to get a 50.  Yep you got it a colonoscopy.  Ugh that should be fun.  I do get a day off of work for it.  But lets not forget what I’m blogging about.  My son.

Picking Him Up from School

Image result for percussion practice

So I get a text at 2:30 when I’m suppose to pick him up at school at 3 pm.  He says pick me up at 4 I have sectionals with my percussion group for band.  I’m like thinking great I can get groceries and then pick him up.  My dad needs a ride to get his car I dropped off earlier and everything is working out perfect.

I pick my son up in front of the school and he has another little boy with him that needs a ride home from school.  Of course I give it to him because he has to walk a long way to home.  My son and Martin are talking in the back of the car about lots of things and one is my sons grades.

Report Card and Good Grades

You see I’ve tried every way to motivate my son in getting good grades. The new way is that if he brings home a 100 on his work I will give him $5.00 and if he brings a 90 or better he gets $2. Martin told my son he was lucky and he would be trying to get all 100s. My son said I’m trying a little.  UGH no intuitive what do I do??????

Image result for report cards

So this would be a great report card but not what he gets.  Any ideas on how I can get him more involved in being successful? I have already taken everything but regular TV away from him.  He is in the band and he is a competitive swimmer so I keep him busy too. Please share your thoughts……

So here is what happened last night. I let him drink a caffeinated sweet tea around 9 pm and he couldn’t sleep.  His heart was going a little faster than normal and he said he was having trouble breathing. He was anxious.  We were up until 0045 and then he ended up falling asleep in my bed.  At 0330 he woke me up again and went to the bathroom.  So he crawled over me and turned on lights.  He finally went back to his bed because he said I snored to loud.  We will always be parents and they will always need us but damn it was hard to stay awake today. I did get a nap though.

Kids Bluntness

Kids his age are also very blunt. I made a chicken spaghetti casserole for dinner. He asked me if it was the first time I had made it, when I said yes he said, “Yeah I could tell it doesn’t taste very good”. I said thanks for being honest and he made himself canned spaghetti and meatballs.

This single motherhood job is the hardest thing in the world to do. I don’t know if I’m doing it right and I won’t know until he grows up. Today he said “I love you mom” and I got a hug so maybe I’m not so bad.

Blog Soon

Nancy

 


Teaching my Almost Teenager

Teaching my Almost Teenager

Hello my Fabulous Readers.  So how are we suppose to teach our almost teenagers about just being a good person.  He takes everything I say right now and turns it totally around to mean the opposite.  I’m sure all your kids have done it or doing it too.

HELP!!!!!

This brings us to the third strategy.  No excuses..

Don’t Make Excuses. Sometimes parents enable their kid’s poor performance in school by laying the blame on that child’s disability or situation. Instead, parents ought to expect teens to be responsible for their own education, while keeping such expectations reasonable. “Parents should also set the example for their kids,” says Messersmith. “No double standards.”

My son is notorious for saying “Mom that isn’t homework my teacher wants us to do it tomorrow.”.  Uggggh really!!!!  So I did the only logical thing and called the teacher who said, “No I want him to complete the papers I send home with him.”.  Of course now he doesn’t have any electronics until his grades are up but he learned that I’m going to do my research.

Almost Teenagers try to Get Away with everything

I think another thing my son believes is that I will ask him first what he did to make the situation bad.  Some parents going around saying it’s the teachers fault or the teacher doesn’t like my kid.  I don’t care if they like my kid or not just do your work and get it done right.

In the workplace we may not always like the person we are working with at the time but as a professional you do your work.  I remember a time when I was working on a nursing floor as the Unit Director.  One of the nurses came up to me and asked if she was my favorite nurse on the floor.  I said of course you are because everyone is my favorite.  If she did that at work think about all the kids going to a teacher and asking that same question.  I would pulled my hair out and go screaming.

Image result for crazy teacher

I know we are suppose to trust and believe in our kids.  He is 12 and trying to see what I will believe and what I won’t believe.  Testing is the word I’m looking for and I believe that is something we need to teach.  Teaching my almost teenager is so hard to do with no instructions.

STOP TESTING ME YOUR NOT GOING TO WIN.

 


My Almost Teenager and School

Keeping in Touch with my Almost Teenager

Lets catch up from last week. I need to blog more often about my amazing almost teenager. I am continuing with the steps in the previous blog.  We are on Step 2.

Almost teenager

Communicate – Parents should be aware of what is going on at school and what assignments their children have been given. Larsen advises parents to communicate regularly with teachers about their child’s progress. “Teachers want your child to succeed as much as you do.”

Last week I called his English teacher and asked how is he doing in class because I noticed his grade is dropping. His English teacher told me he is so smart and just needs to focus on completing his work in class. She also said he has 3 assignments from class he hasn’t finished. She asked if he could stay after school to complete his work. I stated of course and he will be there tomorrow.

I am concerned because there is a kid named Jeff who stays in trouble with the teachers, other kids and is never focused. Jeff is in my sons English class and he appears to be friends with him. We as parents can’t pick their friends but we can certainly make it difficult for them to stay friends. The only time they communicate when they aren’t in school is through the Xbox. I have restricted the Xbox due to his dropping grades in English.

Leaving him in Class

My mom thinks I should maybe remove him from the class so he isn’t in contact with Jeff during school hours. I believe there will always be people in his life that are like Jeff and he needs to learn how to work around those type of people. Of course as parents we never know if the decision we make today will change their lives in the future.

There isn’t a book that comes with our kids when we receive our blessings. We make mistakes too. I’m leaving him in the class and giving him access to electronics as his grades improve.  He is going to come into contact with bad influences throughout his life and he needs to learn how to adjust his communication styles to tolerate those people.

For this week I will be continuing the first step of Paying Attention and Communicating. I am adding the third which is not making excuses for his mistakes. He needs to be accountable and learn the consequences of his actions. I need to be strong and not give in to him when he wants his electronics.  Mean what I say and do what I mean. I don’t want to confuse him.

Blog Soon!!

Nancy

 


Lets Motivate Teenagers – Some strategies that may work with more to come

I was talking with my Amazing boyfriend about what I should write on my blogs and he suggested my teenager. I thought wow that is an awesome idea.

How to raise a teenager and still be Fabulous

This is my life right now and he is driving me crazy.  He’s in the 7th grade and has this attitude that he found in the sixth grade. Don’t get me wrong he isn’t a bad kid he’s just not motivated to be successful in school.  He also seems like he is energy depleted you know like a Slouth. I want to have these magical powers that lets me wiggle my nose and give him more energy and motivation.

Motivate Teenagers

First let me mention I’m a single mom with a full time job as a nurse. My son is a smart seventh grader and doesn’t get much discipline from his father. We have been divorced 6 years and he didn’t want the divorce.  Just a little background to set the stage.

Typical Morning Before School

I wake him up at 6 am by saying “Good Morning Sunshine” and he rolls over and says “Good Morning Mom.  I’ll get up in 30 minutes”.  I say cool and walk downstairs.  I have my coffee, I feed the dogs, and I blog a little for the 30 minutes that I am waiting for him to roll out of bed.

It’s 6:30 and I yell upstairs for him to come downstairs. Well you got it 15 minutes later he’s strolling down the stairs and asking for coffee with a bagel.  I feel good at this point because I know he’s brushed his teeth.  His face being washed is a whole different story but hey I got to my battles.

So he’s awake but without any energy.  He lays around all covered up and acting drowsy staring at the TV.  Can anyone relate? Drives me nuts. I have the coffee and his bagel sitting in front of him and I keep telling him to get started.  Every time I say something he says “I’m starting” without moving

This generation is something else or maybe it is just a boy thing. How do we get them motivated?  From the article I found on the Internet “Motivating the Low Achieving Teen” by Laurisa White Reyes there are 6 ways to motivate my teen.

SIX ways to motivate teenagers to stay on task

  1. Pay Attention. Parents often assume that teens do not need the same amount of attention they received when they were younger. But nothing could be further from the truth. “The most motivated students,” says Larsen, “are those whose parents sit with them during homework and do not ignore problems until it’s too late.”
  2. Communicate. Parents should be aware of what is going on at school and what assignments their children have been given. Larsen advises parents to communicate regularly with teachers about their child’s progress. “Teachers want your child to succeed as much as you do.”
  3. Don’t Make Excuses. Sometimes parents enable their kid’s poor performance in school by laying the blame on that child’s disability or situation. Instead, parents ought to expect teens to be responsible for their own education, while keeping such expectations reasonable. “Parents should also set the example for their kids,” says Messersmith. “No double standards.”
  4. Recognize Achievements. For teens who struggle in school, even the slightest improvement is an achievement. Praise your child for his efforts. Receiving recognition for accomplishments is a great motivator.
  5. Celebrate Strengths. “We all have different abilities,” says Larsen. “Parents can motivate their teens to succeed by focusing on their strengths and helping them improve on their weaknesses.”
  6. Never Give Up. High school students who face academic challenges can sometimes feel like throwing in the towel. But with the love and support of their parents and teachers, even the most frustrated teen can set and meet goals. “It’s so much easier to give up,” says Messersmith, “but don’t get discouraged. Stand your ground.” The key, as Larsen reminds us, “is to never settle, but also don’t have crazy, unreachable goals.” In other words, set realistic goals and never stop helping your child attain them.

Here is one Strategy that I did this week.

So I will let you all know how these strategies work on my child this week. I started with Pay Attention this week.  I asked him every day to tell me something good that happened today. Then I say tell me something bad that happened today.  The first 2 days I got some really crappy answers like “The good thing was that I thought you wouldn’t ask me the question.  Then he said “The bad thing was you asked me these stupid questions.”.

We are working on this technique.  Besides doing that I spoke with his English teacher and we are now on the right track to get higher grades because we are dong his homework together. It is hard to motivate teenagers because of all the distractions.  Not only do they have their hormones raging but they have electronics for them to escape too. It’s hard but I believe we can do this.

Blog Soon

Nancy

 

 


Free Dating Online Advice

Free Dating Online Advice

Last One lets get Positive Next

Alex was really different. He seemed really nice when we were talking online so I went to the next step and gave him my cell number so we could text or talk.  Alex told me he was a truck driver that actually lived in my city.

Alex seemed intelligent but had a chip on his shoulder which I didn’t get at first.  It was clear that he didn’t like certain people and thought he was better than others. He didn’t think women should be in the workforce or go to college.

I didn’t see any of that on our first date.  He met me at Panda Express and I was not expecting that at all.  He actually did pay for lunch but then decided I should kiss him.  The attraction was not there so when he came in for a kiss I gave him my cheek. He got rather upset.

He called me for a second date and I politely said “No.”.  That is when I could tell he was not a happy with me. He said, “This is exactly why women should not be working or go to college they believe they are better than men.”.  I kept listening for about 5 minutes when I said, “I don’t believe I am better than anyone however I know I am better than you because you appear to be ignorant.”. He yelled lots of profanities and I hung up.

Ladies we are not objects and we shouldn’t be treated as such. We are able and willing to become what we choose to become without permission. Men are  suppose to be our partners and encourage us to do the best.

My piece of advice for today is very simple.

BE YOU &  BE FABULOUS

Free Online Dating Advice

LET’S GET POSITIVE NOW

Every day is a new opportunity to wake up and be you and fabulous.  I choose my attitude and I stopped letting someone choose for me.  Strength and courage is what I have to offer in a relationship.  Never do I compromise my beliefs in myself. I did it and it wasn’t fun.

Sometimes we have to be fabulous and shop to make us get there. I have learned that I can make others be fabulous just by being fabulous myself. Finding your match sometimes is as easy as changing your attitude.

Going forward I will be blogging about all kind of things and how life makes it a little hard to be fabulous.  Also I will give you tips on how to make being fabulous contagious.

Have a FABULOUS Day

Nancy

 


Free Dating Online Advice – Part 2 Tom – Scam

Free Dating Online Advice

2nd Date Online

Tom was my 2nd guy I went out on a date with who I met online. He was definitely one of the weirdest guys I went out with in years.  I do have to say though he made it memorable and I got smarter about the scam artist.

So I was trolling on the online dating sites.  Apparently that;’s the word they use.  I didn’t know that at the time.  I got a ping from this rather handsome guy named Tom.  He stated that he saw my profile and thought I was interesting.  he also told me I was beautiful.  At that time in my life I was vulnerable so I believed him.

Free Dating online

He told me that he was a contracted oversea. Watch those kind of words because its a scam.  He was not going to be online long because they get kicked out of the dating services quickly.  I didn’t know better.  He asked me for my cell number so we can text.  I gave it to him willingly another scam move to watch for. Then he started to call me long distance. He was really buttering me up but I was naive and didn’t know better.

He started of course telling me everything my ex husband didn’t and making me feel good.  I was beautiful, my smile melts his heart, my voice is sexy, and I’m smart.  Remember I’ve never seen the guy and all I’ve seen is pictures.

When he started calling me and I started listening to his accent he didn’t sound American.  He sentence structure was completely off.  He wound use the wrong words at the wrong times.  He flirted well but something just wasn’t right.  When he texted and sent pictures I was seeing the same thing.

The Scam Finally

Dating ScamThen started the sob story about he lost his wife and is the sole provided for his son.  He took him to China because of work and now he can’t get out because his boss left him stranded there.  Here it comes ladies.  “Can I borrow $5000 so I can get out of China with my son.”.  He worked hard up until that point.  Telling me he loved me and couldn’t wait to meet me when he got home.  I told him I was poor and I didn’t have any money.

That didn’t stop him.  He started to tell me how to get a loan or ask my parents to give him some money.  I started asking questions about his accent and he got really offended and said things like I didn’t trust him or his accent comes from travelling all the time.

I told him again I was poor and I couldn’t help him get back to the States. He said Ok for me to keep trying.  He called one more time and I told him that he was a scam artist and I believe he was over in Africa praying on lonely women to steal their money.  He never called back but he did email me a couple of times.  I just totally ignored him.  I chalked it up to experience.

Then there was Alex part 3

Blog soon

Fabulous Nancy

 

 

 


Free Dating Online Advice Part #1 – For Women

A Little About Me

Hello My Friends out there in the internet world.  Hope things are well. Just a few fun things about my dating online experiences and what I learned. I’ve had super crazy dating experiences after my second divorce and I’m sure a lot of you have had them too. I wish I would have had free dating online advice.

When I got divorced in 2011 I told myself I’m never getting remarried. I have be married twice and I know when I’m not good at something.  So with that mindset in place I started trying the internet dating sites.

I waited about a year after my divorce when I started investing my time to dating.  The websites out there are full of crazy men but among them are a few good guys. Before starting I wish I would have had some free online dating advice but it wasn’t out there yet. I remember going out on one date with a guy named Chris who told me that he thought modern medicine was a hoax. He actually said that if he had appendicitis he would go in the desert and wait for the angels to heal him.  If they didn’t it was meant for him to die. Little scary to me.

Free Dating Online Advice

Free Dating online advice

While dating online I learn some things about going on dates. You see I reentered the dating world when I was 45. Dating has changed quite a bit since I was 27. This is the time where some free dating online advice would have come in handy.

  • Always meet your date at a public place
  • Drive separate cars
  • Have an out card which means have a friend text to see if your ok
  • Always have money just in case
  • Never share your home address on the first few dates

Always be prepared to have to pay for your meal too. Apparently men today on the first date or several dates later they expect you either to pay for them or go dutch.  Really a big turn off to me. But then again when it happened I certainly didn’t feel obligated to see him again or kiss him good night.

The guys I went out with expected more than a kiss on the cheek after paying for a dinner. Unbelievable.

Rick the Cheap Date

I met Rick at a nice steak house for dinner at 5 pm.  He seemed nice and we had a great conversation before the waitress got there.  She asked us what we would like to drink and I got a Sprite.  The waitress then asked if we would like an appetizer and he said “No” without consulting me. I thought in my head not good.

As we were looking through the menu he mentioned the cheaper items and not the steaks.  I again thought what an idiot. Why would you ask me to a steak house and not think I would order a steak. I never said the guys I went on dates with were smart.

Free Dating onlineSo of course I ordered a steak but only the 8 oz not bad.  He ordered the chicken I believe. We were talking and getting to know each other and our meals arrived.  I must say the only reason he is memorable after 5 years is because of what he did next. He asked the waitress to split the check and he wouldn’t be paying for the dessert.

I was appalled. Then I thought maybe he isn’t all into me and just wants to end the date. I didn’t order any dessert and I paid for my steak. By the way he paid for my Sprite. Just letting you know. The waitress winked at me like saying “What a Loser”. I nodded because you know as women we have that sense about each other.

So he walks me to my car and we are not holding hands. I actually avoided that by holding my purse with both hands.  Great tip to get out of holding hands. He leans into me to kiss me and I gave him my cheek.  Then he asked when he could see me again. I told him I would text him. Never gave him a second chance and I am glad.

I’ll blog again about Tom and more free online dating advice.

Thanks for Reading

Fabulous Nancy


Good Morning – Just me and Coffee

Need Coffee

Need to Stop and Shop

Good Morning – Coffee is a Life Saver

So who out there feels like this every morning and throughout the day????? Coffee can always make it better.

So yesterday afternoon I was walking in the house with my hands completely full of stuff.  My son looked at me and said “Hey Mom can you get my shoes”.  I don’t think he was really looking at me just looking at the fact that I walked in the house.

Kids with electronics

What is wrong with our children these days?  I know they have way to much entertainment and because we are so busy we don’t have the energy to monitor them like our parents.  I mean really what is the difference between them watching Youtube gamers and us watching Bugs Bunny.  When you sit down and really analyze it there isn’t much except they can get it on every device and use a headset.  My son can block out the world with the headset on his ears.

 

So discipline is easy I take the headset when he isn’t listening.  ALL THE TIME.  Then we just go down the list of his electronics of what he has to give up next.  The headset however is his whole world.  He can play, listen, and talk to his classmates on the Xbox with his headset.  If I got to start over after knowing what I know today I think the only electronic we would have in our house would be cable TV.  I even think I would stick with the corded phone if I could find one.  We have a house phone that has 3 receivers and there is always one that is lost.

I believe we as the parents of children today have it so much harder than our parents and our grandparents. This electronic society we have created is not getting better but worse.

Just Me and Coffee Reflecting in the Morning

I went on a date the other day with my amazing boyfriend and as I looked around the restaurant I saw electronics. There were couples on dates and they were not talking to each other but looking down at their cell phones. Children at the tables had tablets or cell phones. Everyone is really eating alone. The Restaurant was quite though and I could hear my boyfriend talking to me but all I could think about was how sad it was that no one else was talking.

Envy Stoe

Where are we going from here?????? Kids today use electronics in school too. So I took my sons Ipad away and the next day he came home from school with an Ipad they gave him. It is like we are fighting a losing battle. The Ipad from school didn’t block the internet because he needs that so he can access his books. Hopefully he will grow up and be a successful engineer and ask these same questions when he is raising his family.

What are your thoughts??????

Please Post

Fabulous Nancy


Life thoughts from Nancy – Ain’t it Fun

 Life Thoughts

Hello all my Fabulous Readers. I turned 50 this year and realized I’m the new 40. Oh my goodness time flies when you’re having fun. I’m ready to live the second half of my life. The first half had lots of bumps, potholes, and construction work along the way.

Positive ThoughtsWe start out in life really strong because we have to find ourselves and get started in life like our parents have showed us.  Usually its college, marriage, career, house, and kids.  Well, I did my life in a different order but about the same.  I added two marriages and two divorces in the mix.  Trying to keep things simple it didn’t work. I am blessed with the love of my life and he is now 12 years old  and he is my everything.  More about him in my future blogs.

I’m going to start from a few years back when I got my second divorce.  Yep everyone does it as they are sitting and having a cup of coffee they think.  “Man if I knew what I know now I wouldn’t have done that.”. I did that when I asked my 2nd husband for a divorce.  So I have decided I’m not really good at the marrying thing.

Starting My Dating Journey

My ex husband is a nice guy and has a great personality but he is just not the right fit for me.  After 17 years our marriage was over. Sure he wanted to work things out by going to a counselor and talking though things which I tried to appease him. It didn’t work because face it my mind was made up and I was done.

Men sometimes don’t realize when a woman has thought things through and has made up her mind she has probably been thinking about it for months possibly years. So our decision is usually unbreakable and that is what we want.

Now starts the fun.  I waited about a year before I started dating guys after my divorce. Trying to figure myself out and get to know me again took a while.  I never was looking for something serious just someone to spend time with and have sex occasionally.

Where do I start?  I can’t go to bars I have an 7 year old son who would watch him plus I’m a nurse and I don’t want to be risky.  So I started going to dating web sites.  WOW there is a whole another world inside the internet and it’s scary.

I’ll blog later about all that stuff.

For Now have a Great Day and Blog Soon!!

Fabulous Nancy


Good Morning – My Family and a Little about Me

Hi it’s me Nancy. I can’t believe it’s only 112 days away from Christmas. More importantly there is only 48 more days until “The Walking Dead” season 8 starts.  Where did the year go already? What am I going to get everyone in my family.  It went by so fast and no matter how many times I tried to slow it down it didn’t cooperate.

Family

I’m a Walking Dead Fan

I have already started making plans for Christmas and time off for the holidays. My amazing son is going to spend a few days with his Aunt Sissy. My boyfriend and I are going to drop him off on the way to see his mother and then pick him up on the way back home. I think it’s a pretty great way to kill 2 birds with 1 stone.

My Family

Well let me tell you about me today. I turned 50 this year and I don’t look a day over 40  (LMAO) thankfully I do have great genes. Lets where should I start.  I grew up in a military family traveling all my childhood to Germany and back to the United States with my parents and sister. My amazing parents have been married for 51 years and  they have supported me in all my decisions. They have always been there for me and my son. I’m very lucky.

My mother is German and I have some amazing stories she has told me that I will be blogging about here on my site. She is one of the strongest women I know and without her I don’t believe I would be whee I am today. She is my mentor in life and my best friend.

My son is 12 years old and in the 7th grade. He thinks he knows everything and tries to prove it everyday. He loves to play WoW (World of Warcraft). I will certainly be blogging about him and his antics which happen daily.

I also have a great sister who lives about 4 hours from us that will do anything for me and my son as well. My family will be part of my blogging because I’m always going around shaking my head “Really?”.

I have an amazing boyfriend who is supportive and wonderful. I will talk about him in blogs later especially how we met , our great dates and our wonderful vacations. I’m always doing crazy weird things that make him laugh.

Parts of My Life

I have been married twice. The first marriage lasted 7 years and he was a very abusive guy so I’m lucky to be alive. The second marriage lasted 17 years and we both grew apart so it ended amicably or at least I think it did.

I’ve been a nurse for over 20 years and I have some stories to tell you about those experiences. I was a pediatric nurse for 15 years, then a nurse working for IT for 5 years, and now I’m a peritoneal dialysis nurse. It’s an amazing profession and I plan blogging about this a lot. I believe there are lots of new and old nurses out there that want to read funny stories about nursing.

Little More About My Son Today

My son is a swimmer and has been on a city league competing in swim competitions since he was 4 years ole. He is an amazing swimmer but he doesn’t like swimming. I’ve told him I didn’t care if he liked it or not he has to go because it is his exercise. He keeps telling me he’s going to quit when he’s in high school and again I tell him NOPE. You can quit when you’re in college.

In my opinion he would rather sit on the couch and play video games than move. I’ve asked him if he has any other sport he would like to try and he has said not really. You see when he was little we tried different sports with him and none really stuck out that he enjoyed.

Gotta go for now.  Blog more tomorrow.